By Max Marinelli ‘22, Staff Reporter and Poet
I’ve been here a thousand times before,
And yet I’m still lost in that empty feeling.
I cannot avoid it; it is an inevitable loss.
I feel as if I am sinking inside myself,
And the ropes fell along with me.
My feelings have deserted me, I-
I am left behind, a sacrifice to
Those too stubborn too young.
Truly, I’ve been bottled, capped,
And shaken up: any release
And an explosion is imminent.
I stare into my eyes; I turn the
Lights off and watch them fade.
They shrink with uninterest,
While growing only in pain;
Though not the constant tinge
I’ve grown unable to live without.
I’ve grown insufferable– or at least I
Believe, I’ve never given the chance;
Not because the world is unworthy,
No, I am the one not worth the waste.
I’m begging to be found, but my heart
Can’t speak and mouths refuse to listen.
So cycles turn onto cycles, and well too
Soon I’m pleading to be let back in.
My flaws don’t bleed so bright in
The dark— which hides all creatures
Blighted so: the moonlight bloomers.
Though getting in is effortless, any
Planned escape is an impossibility.
Once you’ve brushed an empty feeling,
You’ve left some fingerprints behind;
For that is a convention as deep as the
Saucer-shaped prisons we call eyes.
My soul’s window has been left open,
And there’s a draft—it’s blown away
And back again—as waves fight the
Shore: it is the power of the moon.
Entranced, I slide into the place where I
Am exposed with eyes closed, but this is
Not a home; this is a cell, and I am lost.
I’m begging to be found, but my heart
Can’t speak, and mouths refuse to listen.
Had I used my mouth to cry of richest death
Perhaps my song could have slammed the
Unsettled window; and histories don’t fade
True through water, so this solution joins
Reality with corruption, a murky mixture
Of false hope and needless sufferings.
I’m begging to be found, but my heart can’t
Speak and mouths refuse to listen, and
From their faults, I’m waiting to be saved.
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