By: Will Bozman '21 and Benny Flora '20 (Guest Contributors)
Sup fellas, fella-esses, and everything in between. It’s Rocko. Your boy? No. The boy. I’m here to talk to you about a very special project I’ve been whippin’ up. It’s a little movie about pawns. And kings. And maybe even other things. It’s called “Pawns and Kings and Other Things.” Well, to say that I, personally, have been whippin’ it up may be, in fact, not true. Yes. That is because I haven’t been whippin’ it up. But two of my handsome homies, and when I say handsome, I mean you’ve-never-seen-anyone-this-handsome handsome. I’m not gonna front, I’m not even as handsome as them. I don’t even think Jacob Groch is as handsome as them. EW. KIDDING. The only person I’d call handsome is my mom. Now. You’re a busy person, so let me cut to the chase. Benny and Will. Benjamin Flora. William Bozman. You’ve heard things, I’m sure. They are widely regarded as the best people to have ever lived. And they’re making a movie, which is already widely regarded as the best movie to ever have been made. And it hasn’t even been made yet. That’s how frickin’ good it is. Now when you think of two high-school goofballs making a movie, you’d expect maybe a five or ten minute little piece about some stupid thing like homework or milk. Well this ain’t no five- to 10-minute movie. It’s a full one hour and 30-minute piece of cinema, and it’s sure as my Aunt Sally ain’t about milk. It’s about Pawns. And Kings. And maybe even other things. And when I’m feelin’ especially generous, it’s even about Jacob Groch.
My homies out on the front lines of FCS have written two drafts so far, and the script now clocks in at a whopping 120 pages. They also have gotten the boys together to sit down and do a little reading of the script, which in the business is called a ‘Table Read.’ Fun fact for ya morons. So this little movie follows my boy Connolly Benson: Con-Man, THE MAN. He’s basically my brootha from anootha mootha. Played by Leo Flora, Benny’s more attractive little brother. So this hip little nugget joins forces with the chess club to find a long lost chess board that once belonged to his father, Barnaby. Woo. You keepin up? I’m not. I just Sparked Notes this motha. Any-whom, you get to meet and follow a cast of zany characters. One of ‘em’s my boy Ben Fisher, played by Ian Duane, known around town as the Titanium Stallion. This guy Ben’s a bit goofy. He’s the passionate leader of the chess club and he gives a mean schpeil! There’s also Amanda, played by Jadey wadey Halpern. Amanda’s a bit mean. Think of a mean person. Yeah, like that. And let’s not forget Aiden Kempf, played by Aiden Kempf. He’s the hungriest little peanut on the east coast. Or the west coast, now that I think about it. And there’s Pheen, played by Claire May. Or maybe Pheen plays Claire. I forget. Either way, she’s got a dark and brooding mind with a lotta plans and very few concerns about fellow humans. And you may also know me, Rocko, played by Caspy Hoffmann, and my side-kick Jacob Groch (actor pending). There’s also the homie Satan, played by Ryan Reynolds. You may know him from Buried (2010). It’s alright, I’ve seen better. He’s pretty handsome too, I suppose. Point being, we got a mean cast o’ characters awaiting your perusal.
Production starts soon! The movie’s rampin’ up, the script is being polished, the filming will be soon, and overall, we’re gonna make a heck of a motion picture. For updates, behind the scenes videos and pictures, and even the chance to be an extra, you can follow @pawns_and_kings on Instagram. I don’t follow ‘em cause I’m tryna keep dat followers/followee ratio at a respectable number, but y'all gotta follow. Fo real. Fo sho. You can always contact Benny or Will about the movie, and don’t forget to keep your eyes out, keep your ears out, keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle for the duration of the ride, and get out ma face.
Peace, love, and everything in between.
-Rocko
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